Relapse eps. 1

What if I call you at this very moment and say "I miss you"?

Will you smile? Or instead you're just giving me the look that say, "See, I always know you cannot live without me"?

I miss the way you look in that dark gray suit, that off-white shirt, and a matching tie I picked for you. I know how to dress a man so that he looks stunning. But you too have a nice body *and a sexy behind, I must admit* so that you'll always look good in almost everything. Except that fade black t-shirt I hate.

I often hate the picture of you smiling. Because in some ways, it puts a little pain inside of me. But I love your smile that matched those pretty little eyes. And I hate the thought to have that smile again, just for me.

I remember our little laughs. Your arms around me. Your fingers running through my hair. And a hug that always make me feels good.

I'm torturing myself right now. And if you read this, I know you'll be smiling. A winner's smile, I bet.

Oh, shees *sigh*. Maybe you'll always stay in my heart. But I'm not sorry for my decisions. I'll be just fine without you, I've convinced myself over and over again.

Maybe I'm just missing a man with a nice body *perhaps a sexy behind too, if I'm lucky* in a dark gray suit, off-white shirt, and a matching tie, with a smile that matched his pretty small eyes - and not missing you in particular.